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I think it was obvious from the moment I started watching The Bachelorette that I was not going to be persuaded into being a fan of The Bachelorette. How could I be? This level of cheesiness is something that I can’t deal with and I reserve my right to judge those that watch the show willingly. Since I do not read rules very carefully, I submitted my picks to Megan for our Bachelorette Draft early and before the show even aired. I still stand by those picks and did it based on appearance alone.

Turns out I am a goddamn genius and I picked three guys that seem to make it pretty far by the season preview reel alone. Yes, I am already enjoying the fact that I am better at this than people who watch this show on purpose. Or maybe I am just really good at spotting douchebags and I should not be cheersing myself to victory just yet? Who knows. Back to the show.

Yes, this weekly segment will include spoilers. Who the hell doesn’t have time to watch a two hour premier of a show while it is live? Jeez. Once I am back to being able to use my voice again, I will make this a segment on the radio show. Oh yeah, ICYMI:

So my recap will have to be in writing until I’m done slowly nursing my voice back to health.

Jordan Rodgers, “former professional quarterback” and brother to Aaron Rodgers

Homie got called out by his ex that he “chose football” over being in love with her and being a good boyfriend. Not only is his ex hilarious, she is also friends with Aaron Rodgers’ amazing girlfriend Olivia Munn. This was the photo Brittany Farrar, Jordan’s ex, posted on Instagram:

 

What a hard concept to believe, a younger brother of a superstar wanting his own fame and fortune? Well, there are always three sides to a story and until Jordan can be defend himself, I choose to believe he is here for all the right reasons.

This was the only “news” that came out of the first episode airing… looking forward to more dirt coming out as the season continues.

What I have a few problems with:

Why weren’t more guys sent home? This is far too many people to try and get to know that ALL WANT TO FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU! Since I am no where close to as #blessed as Jojo, I cannot imagine having this even be a possibility. I have a hard enough time keeping someone’s attention for a week before they realize I’m too much to deal with, let alone having pressure of them falling in love with you the moment you meet them. TOO MUCH!

Why did she keep the obviously hammered and obnoxious bros? Oh yeah, because the overly aggressive men had to go. Walk in and tell jokes about your dick? How clever. Walk in and make zero impression on her? Yeah, bye. Talk about your nickname of Coco and how well it goes with Jojo? Yikes. Why did she keep the guy that basically forced her to kiss him with a stupid joke that was worse than the joke he greeted her with at the beginning? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

Oh well, I can’t explain why any of this happened but just rest assured, I have my picks and I am sticking with them for a while because they seem to be around for a while. Want to join in our Bachelorette Fantasy League? DO IT NOW!

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About the author

I like malt liquor & froyo

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