Season Preview From Someone Who Didn’t Pay Attention All Summer

Days since I have given Nebraska football much thought: 241. No real excuse. Just wasn’t into recruiting and empty speculation. But like it or not, 241 days have passed since I watched Nebraska lose to Tennessee and the season opener is upon us.

Here’s my season preview based on no research whatsoever.

Arkansas State: going out on a limb here and saying W. Arkansas having more than 1 college is news to me.
Oregon: L
Northern Illinois: W
Rutgers: better be a W because I’ll be in attendance.
Illinois: L because the only thing that could trip up a team that likes to lose on the road more is a team that likes to lose on the road on a random ass Friday night game.
Wisconsin: L
Ohio State: L
Purdue: W because sure why not
Northwestern: L because I believe at this point in the season there will be a total collapse of the heart.
Minnesota: L
Penn State: L
Iowa: L
That leaves a season of 4-8. Jesus, I hope I’m wrong. Ya’ll can burn me at the stake if Nebraska really goes 4-8. If they go 8-4 it will be due to legit voodoo magic.
I look forward to this Saturday to learn the name of our starting quarterback and returning to you next week with an adjusted outlook.