What if I told you that Kansas State would keep the mighty Baylor Bears to a mere 31 points and almost beat them if it wasn’t for poor play calling, poor execution of poor plays and overall not being able to keep up? Well, if you are a K-State fan, I’m sure you are not surprised by this.
The two days of extra time to prepare for Texas Tech on the road pretty much means that Kansas State comes into Lubbock with enough edge to possibly pull off a win. That would be neat! Since I’d be truly surprised if Kansas State even became bowl eligible this year, I have my doubts about pretty much every aspect of this team. A running list of things we need to change has been on my mind since we opened up conference play this year. Instead of harping on the billowing dumpster fire of play calling, let’s talk about some things that we will need in order to beat Texas Tech!
Let’s use whatever we have possible to get the Texas Tech team completely caught off guard on both sides of the ball. We will need Ryan Gosling to come in at QB and just take off his helmet and have a stare down with Kliff Kingsbury in order to establish dominance. I’d say put him in at corner, but we all remember what a total liability he was in Remember the Titans.
Dance off! We will have our backups and benchriders know how to break it down to the latest dance crazes so when we have altercations on the field, the best thing we can do is just dance our way to the endzone. No one will see this coming and it will be welcomed play calling compared to the disaster calling as of lately. Plus, once Texas Tech sees our sweet dance moves they will probably forfeit out of fear.
While no actual weapons will be used in this attack, let’s use the element of surprise to our advantage on defense. Since our secondary is essentially trash and our defense gets ran through like a truck stop hooker, we can surprise them by using some really strange tactics on defense and attack when they are too shocked by our plays to do anything. Let’s try a seldomly used trick called the 3-4 totem pole. Three guys stack on top of each other and run down the field screaming at the QB while four guys run around with their arms flailing in the air towards the receivers. This is not only brilliant, but totally unexpected… well, until now.
Silly string gloves
SURPRISE WE ARE HAVING A PARTY OMG ISN’T THIS A GREAT PRANK LOLZ
Okay clearly I have no viable options on how to fix this team but I do recommend not letting people rely heavily on an air raid offense and just run the damn ball. Also, try to stop the other team from scoring touchdowns. Thanks!