Ode to Missouri

by @sarahDinKC rA8SB3LJ

It’s been a rough year for the fans and students of Missouri. The football team has suspended their junior quarterback, Maty Mauk, and fallen flat on their face with freshman quarterback, Drew Lock. The football team is now 5-6, and unless they beat Arkansas, this will be the first time in which they haven’t been bowl eligible since 2012. On the flip side, the Tigers basketball team is off to a 2-3 start, and while they are looking improved from last year, they still don’t look like a threat to contend for an SEC East title.


As I so often do, I wrote a poem about my feelings on the Missouri Tigers. I love them to death, but lately… I just can’t.


Everything is awful. Everything is on fire.

Oh hey, look at that. We’ve got coaching positions for hire.

First it was Coach Pinkel, and please, oh God, please

Now it should be Coach Anderson, and his lack of abilities.

If you’re a Mizzou fan, there isn’t much to cheer for.

Let’s just hope the basketball team can win a few more.

Because if it’s up to the football team, and I’m not trying to be rude,

If we’re relying on them, we’re all definitely screwed.

All together, they’ve won a total of six.

We’re just hoping that something finally clicks.

As for the women’s team, well, they’ve won five.

And they have one less sport to play, your turn, guys.

Lucky for us, there’s only one more football game.

And if you like Missouri, I definitely feel your pain.

It’s safe to say, it just wasn’t our year.

But when will it ever be our turn to cheer?

The answer is never, because like me, you’re doomed.

This is the Missouri way, it’s how they were groomed.

Questions? Comments? Leave one below or stalk Sarah on @sprotstakes or @sarahDinKC