In order to cope with the loss of college football right around the corner, the majority of red-blooded Americans will dedicate the next few days to planting themselves in front of a television or two. What will they be doing? Binge watching college football. Whether your team has yet to play or they already won… check out your definitive guide to the rest of the college football games left to play!
AutoZone Liberty Bowl (December 30th, noon on ESPN)
Georgia Bulldogs (7-5) vs TCU Horned Frogs (6-6)
The 2016 Liberty Bowl is a classic battle of Dawgs vs Frawgs. Yes, classic. For as long as there have been dogs existing at the same time as frogs, dogs have wanted to lick frogs. Like I said, classic story. With this undeniable scientific fact, it is safe to say that TCU will either be getting licked or poisoning the Bulldogs with their nasty skin. You can’t argue with facts. Best bet for this early game on a Friday (that you should have taken off the entire holiday week) will be TCU jumps out (lol puns) to an early lead and Georgia’s hit or miss defense can’t stop them. My money is on TCU.
Hyundai Sun Bowl (December 30th, 1:00 pmon CBS)
El Paso, TX
#18 Stanford Cardinal (9–3) vs North Carolina Tar Heels (8–4)
The 2016 Sun Bowl is a classic tale of redwood trees versus North Carolina residents. Wait… I don’t think that is really a thing. Sorry guys. Would redwood trees even survive in North Carolina?
“There is a distinction between redwoods and what are commonly referred to as Sequoia trees, Mazur says. Sequoias, or inland redwoods, grow at the top of the Sierra Nevada mountains, a couple of hundred miles inland from where the coastal trees are found, and would likely not survive in North Carolina.”
That was easy to find out! Stanford fans will be grossed out by the likes of El Paso and will probably not show up. North Carolina fans will bring lots of wet wipes and hand sanitizer and everyone will complain they aren’t at a nicer bowl game. No one will win, everyone will just complain.
Franklin American Mortgage Music City Bowl (December 30th, 3:30 pm on ESPN)
Nebraska Cornhuskers (9–3) vs #21 Tennessee Volunteers (8–4)
What the hell? Tennessee basically gets a home game? That is not fair. Life is not fair. Read more in-depth about this bowl game from our Nebraska writer, Wiemers, here.
Nova Home Loans Arizona Bowl (December 30th, 5:30 pm on ASN)
Air Force Falcons (9–3) vs South Alabama Jaguars (6–6)
No one is watching this, GO JAGS!
Capital One Orange Bowl (December 30th, 8:00 pm on ESPN)
Miami Gardens, FL
#11 Florida State Seminoles (9–3) vs #6 Michigan Wolverines (10–2)
Who would you rather see shirtless?
Who would you rather see shirtless? (this is research, I swear)
— Sprots Takes (@SPROTSTAKES) December 29, 2016
That’s your winner, folks.
Buffalo Wild Wings Citrus Bowl (December 31st, 11:00 am on ABC)
#13 Louisville Cardinals (9–3) vs #20 LSU Tigers (7–4)
Louisville had some rough losses this year, including one to Clemson, which ultimately tarnished their image in the eyes of the CFB Playoff elite. Couple that with back to back losses to end the season and the dream of going to the CFB Playoff was dead for Louisville. Instead, they get to go to the most magical city ever, Orlando! I really hope Buffalo Wild Wings gives them lifetime wings because I would utilize the hell out of that. Back to football… LSU had a weird year with Les “I have plenty of time” Miles was fired and they hired interim head coach Ed Orgeron to take his place. I love Ed. Not only is he a great coach, his voice should be recorded to soothe babies to sleep. Ya know… babies that love raspy yelling that is. I say Louisville and their Heisman winner, Lamar Jackson, end up winning this one.
TaxSlayer Bowl (December 31st, 11:00 am on ESPN)
Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets (8–4) vs Kentucky Wildcats (7–5)
WASPS VERSUS WILDCATS! WHO WILL WIN?!
If this was a reality show based on WASPs (white people) versus Wildcats, I would turn in every damn episode. Unfortunately for me, this is just a morning bowl game with two teams that I have emotional interest in. Georgia Tech earned a soft spot in my heart because of one of my favorite Twitter follows, @sportsbroad. Kentucky earned a soft spot in my heart because of one of our writers, Jessica Fogle.
WHO WILL WIN?! Let me flip a coin and find out. Heads for Georgia Tech, tails for Kentucky.
Heads. Wasps win. Sorry, Jessica.
Chick-fil-A Peach Bowl (December 31st, 3:00 pm on ESPN)
#1 Alabama Crimson Tide (13–0) vs #4 Washington Huskies (12–1)
Shouldn’t we just give the trophy to Alabama now? I don’t see the Huskies (or anyone for that matter) beating Alabama. IF Washington wins, blame Lane Kiffin for the distraction from football. I know Nick Saban certainly will.
PlayStation Fiesta Bowl (December 31st, 7:00 PM on ESPN)
#2 Clemson Tigers (12–1) vs #3 Ohio State Buckeyes (11–1)
If I could pick two teams I absolutely am tired of hearing about, it would be these two teams. I cannot stand Ohio State fans and think Clemson is a boring and way less talented team. The winner here? If the stadium developed a blackhole and everyone in it was sent back to the year 1841.
Let’s get to the best bowl game ever, THE OUTBACK BOWL!
*cue Men At Work music*
Outback Bowl (January 2nd, 1:00 pm on ABC)
#17 Florida Gators (8–4) vs Iowa Hawkeyes (8–4)
I absolutely LOVE Outback steakhouse so it is almost a no-brainer to make sure that anything from a terrible state like Iowa doesn’t win nice things. The Gators also represent Kirsty’s favorite team so I am gunning for them to win unlimited Bloomin’ Onions for life.
Goodyear Cotton Bowl Classic (January 2nd, 1:00 pm on ESPN)
#15 Western Michigan Broncos (13–0) vs #8 Wisconsin Badgers (10–3)
Ahhh, Western Michigan. Gotta love the Alabama-esque record of being undefeated. Will the Broncos stand up against the mighty Wisconsin Badgers? Let’s see if there is a video about “horse vs badger” and go from there…
Yeah no, there is nothing. I will have to rely on sports knowledge for this one and it will hurt my brain. Let’s bounce back to Wisconsin being JJ Watt’s school and also where his brother happens to play. A Wisconsin win would make JJ Watt happy and anytime he is happy, I am annoyed even further. Here’s to Western Michigan playing in Jerry World and coming out of the season 14-0!
Rose Bowl Game presented by Northwestern Mutual (January 2nd, 5:00 pm on ESPN)
#5 Penn State Nittany Lions (11–2) vs #9 USC Trojans (9–3)
I am hoping the hopeless defenders of Joe Paterno are sent home crying. I would like nothing more than Penn State’s wacky fans that defend the cover up of sexual abuse by Joe Paterno to be sad for the rest of their lives. That being said, Penn State has impressive wins and USC will basically have a home game. I have never rooted for USC to win anything so I might just have to root for them on Monday.
Allstate Sugar Bowl (January 2nd, 8:30 pm on ESPN)
New Orleans, LA
#14 Auburn Tigers (8–4) vs #7 Oklahoma Sooners (10–2)
Sweater vests vs visors, who will win?
If you had to wear one of these items for the rest of your life, what would it be? (more research, I swear)
— Sprots Takes (@SPROTSTAKES) December 29, 2016
Thoughts? Arguments? Leave a comment below or contact GAT on Twitter here!