“Moral Victory”

Moral Victories are for pussies.

There, I said it and we can get it out of the way. The goal of playing any game on any level is to always win, or lose and learn something. I’ve already waged war on the word “classy” being used to describe people showing raw emotion after a win or loss….so I might as well continue my war on stupid fucking sports terms with “moral victory.” There is a difference between losing, taking something away from it and returning with anger and vigor and a “moral victory.”

Moral victory, noun: a defeat that can be interpreted as a victory on moral terms, for example because the defeated party defended their principles.

This sounds to me a lot like: “Hey guys, I defended baby seals being poached but in the process I lost my legs and the seals still died, but it was a moral victory against those mean corporations! WOOO! Moral victory!”

In football, there are two types of games…a game that you win and a game that you lose. You can win but deserve to lose, you can lose but deserve to win… but you aren’t defending any principles here. When you lose by three field goals and play like Helen Keller on each side of the ball… what exactly were you defending? Clearly not against your opponent. You lose games and they are opportunities to learn and grow, and if you don’t even do that… you are an idiot. There are principles in football such as make first downs, don’t let turnovers happen unless you are causing them on D, make your field goals and don’t get outplayed, etc. There are not things such as DEFEND YOUR CASTLE AGAINST THE DRAGONS AND PROTECT YOUR QUEEN! If you were to defend the castle against the dragons, but your queen still died, that is a moral victory. My point is, stop fucking calling these losses “moral victories” because they aren’t. They fucking suck. Let us feel fucking terrible and suffer in silence for a few days and DON’T EVEN TALK ABOUT THE GAME IF YOU ARE GONNA CALL IT A MORAL VICTORY! DON’T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT WITH ME IF YOU USE THAT WORD! DON’T DO IT!

It stings enough when your team loses games that they were supposed to win, we don’t need people in our faces saying “oh yeah, that game was bad as fuck but at least you guys learned to protect the ball better… such a moral victory!”

Nope. Don’t need that shit at all. Right, Mizzou fans?