GAT’S FIRESIDE FANTASY FOOTBALL FEATURE

GGG
So you’ve figured out how to read fantasy football expert advice on the internets, huh? Congrats, you’re halfway to being addicted to devouring information constantly about your possible lineup. This is key to overthinking and over-meddling with your team, a sure-fire way to end up third in your league. I already told y’all that each week presents a new match-up and opportunity to crush your opponent with logic. The logic behind fantasy football is hard to predict this early in the preseason simply because we haven’t seen anything besides a few snaps from starters and a whole lotta guys that won’t make the team. Feel free to argue with me that you can predict someone’s season based off stats and numbers, but you’re wrong. These are some of the “sleepers” or steals of the draft that “experts” are advising you to pick up in your draft.

Kevin White

Wide Receiver, Chicago Bears

First things first, Kevin White didn’t play the 2015 season so there are no stats available on him, just that he was a GD liability. So the experts are saying this could be a sleeper pick because he could possible stay healthy long enough to try and catch a pass from one of the worst QBs in the league? Alrighty then. You can make your own decision, I just don’t trust Jay Cutler to do anything but choke annually in time to blame everyone else.

Duke Johnson Jr.

Running Back, Cleveland Browns

He plays for the Browns, enough said? Kidding, I will go ahead and make a few more arguments than just this weak one. Josh Gordon is coming back for the first time since 2014 and he is prepared to be dominate as hell. Not only will Duke Johnson Jr. be behind Isaiah Crowell on the depth chart, he will have RGIII to rely on for plays. If you don’t remember RGIII from college, he’s a gd ball hog. Good luck, Duke. You’ll need it.

Robert Griffin III

Quarterback, Cleveland Browns

Let’s start with the fact RGIII has been stunted from the spotlight and held back for years, so it is time for him to prove something to the people of Cleveland. So far he has taken some pretty drastic steps in order to prove he is a new and improved guy under center. What was his first move? Divorce his wife. The literal embodiment of “new phone, who dis?” Apparently RGIII and wife have been separated since April and the news “blindsided” his wife. RGIII’s new love interest? Don’t worry, he met a girl off Instagram and now he has a tattoo on his arm with her name.

Is his head in the game? Nope. Is he a THOT? Yep. This is not a focused QB ready to help your fantasy football team. This is a guy having a mid-QB-life crisis.
Stay tuned for next week when I get into more ridiculous sleepers that you should avoid and finally start to tell you who you should draft. Stay golden, ponyboys.

Questions? Comments? Check out GAT on Twitter or see more articles from her by clicking here!

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