Everything Sucks, and So Do the Royals

Sarah Davis

As it stands, the Kansas City Royals are 3-5 in Spring Training, and have shown absolutely no sign of being a contender for the AL Central. They struggle daily to generate enough offense, and when they do, it seems as though the pitching staff gives up 10 runs. You can never have it all in baseball, but right now, the Royals have nothing.

For the Royals, they rely very much on their core players like Alex Gordon, Lorenzo Cain, and Salvador Perez. The three of them have struggled through their first eight games, collectively batting .108, and haven’t hit ANY home runs. In fact, the three have been so unproductive, it might be time for the Front Office to consider moving them in order to bring in better players to help behind the dish, and patrol the outfield with Paulo Orlando.

Pitching for the Royals has been mediocre at best. The relievers have looked solid, but since Wade Davis hasn’t pitched yet, the Royals are probably bumping him from the closer’s’ spot for Luke Hochevar. Hochevar has been LIGHTS OUT this spring, boasting a 0.00 ERA. Even though Danny Duffy has struggled this year, the team toyed around with him in the bullpen, and they really liked what they saw. Duffy has struggled a bit early on, but surely, he’ll get it back. Duffy will be alongside Hochevar, with Kelvin Herrera in the 7th inning role.

Overall, after being World Champs, this season is fixing to be one major letdown. If you’re expecting great things from the Kansas City Royals, don’t. As you can tell by their 3-5 start to Spring Training, they will take a HUGE step backwards, and will probably do just as PECOTA projects, and finish in fourth place.

*Author’s note: This article was in no way, shape, or form serious. The numbers in Spring Training usually don’t mean much. The starting position players usually only play five innings a game (at max), and the starting pitchers only throw two innings. There’s not a lot that can be said about the Royals 3-5 start, other than, who cares? It’s Spring Training. Numbers, records, and standings don’t really mean anything. No, I don’t think Wade Davis should be removed from the closer’s role, and I definitely don’t think that Alex Gordon, Lorenzo Cain, and Salvador Perez should be traded.  Kansas City will be just fine this year, and will probably, once again, win the division.

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  1. Its called spring TRAINING for a reason. All the seasons they sucked their were several they had the best record in spring training.

  2. Ummm… Have you ever watched a spring training game? Starters pitch 2-3 innings, the low guys on the 40-man are batting cleanup, and frankly nobody gives a shit about who wins the game. Every team, even World Series champions, go 3-5 several times over a 162 game schedule. What effing crack are you smoking that makes you think that SPRING TRAINING has any bearing on regular season results?!?!

  3. I taught for 15 years so it wasn’t at surprising that so many people did such a poor job of reading this article. What you can be proud of Sarah is that you wrote so well & so many people became so caught up in their emotions & responded as such. Unfortunately they must not have paid attention in school when they were instructed to read every printed word on the page. We can teach comprehension skills till the cows come home but unless students choose to learn these basic strategies will never become an every skill.