Here Comes Mullet: A Tale of Defeat



September 24th, 2016

Waco, Texas

11:00 AM

Hey Diary,

I hate this place. I’m flippin’ out a little bit and I can feel my right leg goin’ numb, it might’ve lost color by this point. My mullet-sass level is really high right now. Does anyone even like Baylor other than Baylor? What a delusional, morally depleted institution. Let’s just get through this day and get out. I had a nightmare about Mason runnin’ the ball. I know that he potentially will have to run it when necessary, but good gravy I am not ready. He’s delicate. Where is JDub when you need him? Oh wait… But anyway Diary, we’re wearing white today. I have a fuzzy feelin’, like there’s static in the air. I’m hopin’ there’s a positive charge. I’ll check back after the game.


Well ya know that fuzzy, static feeling I was talking about? It was lightening. And the charge was not positive. We were doing a good job of holdin’ them until the third quarter when things started really goin’ downhill. Oh and Mason ran the ball. He did pretty good though. I always feel like Aly Raisman’s parents when those long legs start movin’. I’m just really sad right now, but if you don’t take care of the ball on Saturday, you feel sad on Sunday. I really felt that I was goin’ to have happy things to tell you. How in the world do you lose a game in which you had the most possession time? I’m really tired. I feel dirty and I’m ready to go home. We have a lot to work out for Texas, but I think in the meantime, Mike wants to watch SpongeBob.

Even Patrick knows how stupid Texas is.

Goodnight, Diary.



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