AFC South Prediction


Alright so this didn’t get posted on Thursday or Friday, but I was really busy being a model and running away from snakes in nature. *hair flip*

Indianapolis Colts:

2014 Record: 11-5

ICYMI: I wrote an article about why Andrew Luck is everything right with America. Having said that, I truly despise the Colts for consistently ending our chances at winning a playoff game almost EVERY FREAKING YEAR! Did I mention these predictions were going to be from a totally bias standpoint? Great, now you know I will write everything as a Kansas City fan because I do what I want. The Colts ruin dreams consistently each year because well, no one else in their division has been able to compete. Not only was it great to see Cincinnati’s dreams of a playoff win crushed, but Luck took his team on to beat the Broncos as well AT MILE HIGH! Wowza, now what other weapons has Luck gained in the offseason?  Well resigning T.Y. Hilton certainly helps and not having the dead weight of Trent Richardson always helps. The Colts have moved onward and upward this season but I have a feeling Houston might give them a run for the divisional title this year… we all know the other two teams definitely won’t.

GAT’s Season Prediction: 11-5


Houston Texans:

2014 Record: 9-7

With all the excitement around JJ Watt coming into this season, it almost makes up for the fact that Arian Foster is made out of bubble wrap and needles. Combined. He recovers and then he gets completely destroyed again. Must be nice to never help any one out in fantasy football, Arian. I think the biggest news from him was his recent declaration of atheism. Neat? Let’s focus on the rest of the team now! At quarterback, Brian Hoyer! Wait… Cleveland got rid of another guy that was doing an alright job in order to let Johnny Football shine. GUESS WHAT THOUGH, IF I WOULD HAVE POSTED THIS ARTICLE ON THURSDAY OR FRIDAY I COULDN’T GIVE YOU THIS UPDATE:

Yeah, that’s right… Jadeveon Clowney is BACK at practice!

So I think Houston has a chance with the obvious Alfred Blue destroying fools in the win over the 49ers this past weekend. Colts beware, Houston’s defense is getting back on track and the offense is slipping into a dangerous territory.

GAT’s Season Prediction: 10-6


Tennessee Titans:

2014 Record: 2-14

Good lord, that is terrible. As a survivor of the Chiefs’ 2012 season, I feel your pain! Now that Roger Goodell totally butchered Marcus Mariota’s name, we can get back to focusing on the future for these not so impressive Titans.

Lol, whoops.

Anyways, with the addition of DGB as well as Mariota, the Titans might see a little more action this year. I still don’t see them coming out as a powerhouse and surprising the nation though… so I am being nice and saying they will at least do better than last year.

GAT’s Season Prediction: 5-11


Jacksonville Jaguars:

2014 Record: 3-13

Good lord, Jacksonville wasn’t the worst team in the NFL! That is so neat! Good job, Jacksonville…you basically just won your equivalent of the Super Bowl by not finishing dead last in the division! So proud! Now let’s focus on this coming season. With a relatively young group of backs and receivers, the offense is going to be heavily reliant on Blake Bortles to get the job done and win at least 4 games this season. First round pick Dante Fowler, Jr. ended up tearing his ACL the first day of mini-camp, which some would say is the most Jacksonville thing ever. Not only that but they ended up signing him to a deal anyways. Sometimes I wonder if it is Florida in general or if Jacksonville is just a delusional bubble of a city. Either way this team is going to need all the help they can get to not finish dead last in the division again.

GAT’s Season Prediction: 2-14