2015 Big 12 Football Programs As Rappers (Pt. Two)

West Virginia: Lil Jon










Last year I embarked on trying to figure out where West Virginia would fit in the grand scheme of things. Morgantown is on my bucket list of places to party and experience, so it is only fitting that of all the rappers I would want to get crunk with, Lil Jon seems to be at the top of the bucket list as well. This year has not brought on much change for West Virginia and they still seem great to party with, collaborate with, etc. and I can’t see that changing anytime soon. While Lil Jon has done some appearances on songs this year, not much has been going on for him. Now that West Virginia and Dana Holgorsen have experienced another 7-5 season, they are heading to the Cactus Bowl. I suggest Dana & crew take their crunk cups and enjoy the change of landscape from the hills of West Virginia to the desert of Phoenix, Arizona. You never know what is in store for this team, but you do know it will be a great time for the fans. TURN DOWN 4 WHAAAAAAAAT?! YEAAAAAHHHHHH! OKAAAAYYYYYYY!


Texas Tech: Nicki Minaj

KK Bret









While last year Baylor took the title of Ms. Minaj, I am passing the crown of the most illustrious female rapper to the Red Raiders. Though Kliff took his coaching role a little more seriously this year by avoiding dancing and calling Beyonce bae… instead he came out swinging with a season opening non-conference win over the SEC front runner, Arkansas. While Bret was busy talking shit on spread offenses in front of a bunch of Texas coaches this summer, Kliff was using that to fuel the fire leading up to their match up. Miley is annoying as hell and so is Bret Bielema. Nicki and Kliff were just standing up to someone viewed as highly obnoxious across the board to their peers. Good for Kliff and good for Nicki. Kliff’s spread offense lead them to a nice 7-5 season record and a bowl game against another SEC opponent, LSU, in the Advocare Bowl. My money’s on Kliff and his no BS Texas Tech team.


Kansas State: Juicy J








Kansas State has taken a team of next to nothing and turned it into a bare minimum 6-6 record team, finishing 8th in the conference. When the only schools they are beating out have a combined record of 2-16… They aren’t doing too hot. Juicy J was everywhere last year, had a collaboration with Katy Perry and crossed into mainstream rapper category. This year? Not so much. While he just dropped his O’s To Oscar’s mix tape, Kansas State just got into a bowl game by the lowest standards of bowl games in recent history. This powerful program fell a little short this year and looks to get back on track next year with several returning players coming back from an injury plagued 2015 team. Cheers to a Liberty Bowl victory and a bounce back of sorts for next season.


Oklahoma State- Eminem










Eminem has been killin’ it for a while now. Considering that Oklahoma State has been doing the same, this comparison seems like a no-brainer. Being the in-state little brother to Oklahoma (foreshadowing alert), I’m sure it goes without saying that the Cowboys have a Sooner sized chip on their shoulder each year. Much like Dr. Dre, Oklahoma State is often forgotten about in favor of Oklahoma and Bob Stoops’ visor. Oklahoma State has suffered through incredibly controversial years along the same time frame that our loved trailer park rapper has as well. In 2000, Eminem burst onto the scene doing some pretty ridiculous things and pissing people off. In 2000, Bob Simmons had a terrible 3-8 record and they brought in Les Miles to change it all around. The Cowboys rose to success under Les Miles while Eminem was rising to the height of his popularity as well. In 2004, Les Miles dipped out for LSU and has remained there ever since. Enter Mike Gundy, the coach that has been in place for 10 years at Oklahoma State, and the rest is history. Much like Eminem, Oklahoma State has had their fair share of controversy. Without needing to explain much other than mentioning Sports Illustrated, Justin Blackmon, Dez Bryant. The Cowboys have a chance to shine in the Sugar Bowl against Ole Miss on New Year’s Day. This should be another heated matchup between Big 12 and SEC programs and is a must watch game…unlike the other 293923809283 that are less than thrilling.

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